Choices

“Something that you feel will find its own form.” - Jack Kerouac 

It’s funny how some memories can be really fuzzy, but others are as sharp as the day they happened. They stay sharp no matter how much time has passed. 

When I was in seventh grade, the other students in my class and I were handed some documents to take home to our parents. The documents explained what classes we would be taking the next year when we entered high school. English, science, history, math, etc. It also explained that we had to choose the final course, an elective. I wanted to take German but that wasn't offered until ninth grade. I scanned the list of classes and my eyes only saw one choice. I picked up my pencil and checked off art.

It was an easy choice. I was drawing all the time. I couldn’t remember a time that I hadn't been drawing. I had drawn my favorite toys, the starship Enterprise, the submarine Seaview, Christmas decorations, a bird skull, tigers, and the adventures of an alien with cheese in his name. Picking art as an elective in high school seemed like a natural progression.

When I got home I excitedly showed the papers to my parents. My father scanned the documents. He saw that I had checked art. He calmly erased it and changed it to shop class aka industrial arts. Working with wood and metal. I told him I’d rather take art. He told me that he had taken shop in high school and that’s what I would be taking. End of discussion. 

Except it really wasn’t a discussion. No one asked me what I wanted to take. No one asked me if it was okay to change my choice. It was just changed. To this day I still wonder why I didn’t speak up more or throw a tantrum or something.

So I wound up taking shop. I worked with metal but don’t remember finishing anything. I made a pretty nice spice rack out of wood. It was on the kitchen wall for a lot of years until my parents moved into a new house. Not sure what happened to it after that. 

During high school I lost interest in drawing. Instead of creating I started consuming. My interests turned to reading science fiction and fantasy, watching TV, and reading comic books. I devoured every issue of Starlog magazine. I flirted with writing a couple of times but I kept getting distracted. 

Fast forward to one day in twelfth grade, my senior year. Last class of the day. We were goofing around before the bell rang. One of my friends was drawing on the chalkboard. His drawing covered most of the board. Dragons, castles, and warriors. Suddenly I was thrown back to the day that my father changed my elective from art to shop. 

I hadn’t thought of that day in five years. I felt an overwhelming sense of regret wash over me. Regret for not speaking up. Regret for not taking art classes all through high school. But I also felt something else. I didn’t realize it at the time, but there was a tiny spark. Something that I hadn’t felt in awhile. It was back. The urge to create.

Next: A New Year

NaNoWriMo Diary Part Two

“As slowly as I write, the story seems to unfold itself, in spite of me.” - Isabel Allende

Saturday, November 16th

Decided to reevaluate my goals. The original plan was to write a collection of short stories with a prologue and epilogue. I figured that I’d work on one story a week. I finished the prologue quickly and wrote notes for the epilogue. The first story is taking much longer than planned. My new goal is to finish the first story.

I usually work Saturdays and it’s an early start. Working out of the office today so need to travel as well. No writing before work. Busy day so no writing during lunch either. Takadanobaba Taproom after work. Finished and posted a new blog post. Took up most of my time so didn’t get as much NaNoWriMo writing done as I had planned.

Sunday, November 17th

Set the alarm for 9:00 AM. Got up and headed to Starbucks. Got some writing done. Went to Watering Hole afterwards. Got more writing done.

Monday, November 18th

Slept in today. Didn’t get any writing done in the morning or afternoon. Didn’t do any writing until after work.  Dinner and writing in Saizeriya.

Tuesday, November 19th

Did some writing in the morning but not on my story. Worked on a NaNoWriMo blog post. Nothing during lunch. Saizeriya for dinner. Got some writing done but also had to do some preparation for work tomorrow. Busy week. Too much to do! Tried to flesh out some scenes. Feels like the story is getting convoluted and that I should do some editing. Told myself to keep writing and edit later. 

Wednesday, November 20th

Busy day at work so went in early. Ate lunch quickly and did some editing. Cleaned up the part that I felt was getting wordy and out of control.  Wasn’t sure how to handle it last night. Came up with some ideas today. Fixed it and moved on. More writing after work. Tired. Recently it seems like I’m thinking more about my daily word count than telling the story, 

Thursday, November 21st

Got up early. Did some writing but not much. Spent too much time goofing around online. Finally stopped myself and wrote something. No writing at lunch. Wrote after work. Was hesitant and nervous to get started again. Doubts. Tired. Jumped in and just started. The words started flowing. Part of the problem was moving on from the part I had been struggling with. Sometimes I overthink think things. I just need to start getting the words down.

Friday, November 22nd

I’m off for the next four days. Taking a trip to Kumamoto, Kushu to visit my good friend Patrick and his family. My plan was to do some writing on the plane. Didn’t happen.  Got up early to catch the flight and wound up sleeping on the plane. We took a drive to the next town for lunch, watched Seijun Suzuki movies, and went into the city for craft beer. Was beat at the end of the day so no writing. Actually felt good to take a break.

Saturday, November 23rd

Day of sightseeing. Road trip to visit a temple near Mt. Aso. Burgers for lunch at a place called Strong Boss Saloon. Stopped by a park with a gorgeous view of the mountains. Dinner at the local Chinese restaurant when we got back. More movies. You can see where this is going, right? Another day of no writing. 

Sunday, November 24th

Road trip to the town of Omuta for a lecture on Manga Karuta. Was great. Lots of old manga and karuta cards on display. Local style okonomiyaki for lunch. It’s made with a spicy sauce. Delicious. More movies when we got back. Love Seijun Suzuki movies. Started writing again in the evening. Was good to write again after a two day break.

Monday, November 25th

Flew back to Tokyo. Slept on the plane again. Started writing in the afternoon. Was tired but pushed myself to write something, even just a little. Need to keep going. Once I got started, I forgot that I was tired and the words started flowing. Back to work tomorrow.

Tuesday, November 26th

I’m at a point where I’ve  figured out a lot of the upcoming scenes and I know how they’re going to flow from one scene to the next. After that I have story beats that I want to hit and an ending. Still need to figure out how to get from story beat to story beat.

I usually discover new things as I’m writing scenes. I’m fascinated by this process. Things I didn’t think of before hand, character dialogue that I wasn’t expecting, suddenly pop into my head as I write. Between thinking out ideas during my walk home in the evenings and sitting down and writing, I’ve been able to move forward with the story. 

Wednesday, November 27th

Wrote a little during lunch. Just a few lines but it all adds up. Wrote more after work. Word count not as high as the last few days. Will be on a business trip on Friday and Saturday. Not sure If I’ll be able to hit 10,000 words. 

Thursday, November 28th

Dinner at Saizeriya. Crazy day at work. Didn’t get as much writing done yesterday as I’d hoped. Have to get up really early for a business trip tomorrow. Thought about stopping here and just not worrying about it. In the end I decided not to give up just yet. 

Friday, November 29th

Business trip to Matsumoto in Nagano. Had to get up pretty early to catch the train. It’s been awhile since I’ve been on a rush hour train. It was crazy how packed it was. At one point I thought I was going to have one of my ribs cracked. By the time I got on the express train in Shinjuku I was exhausted. Two and a half hour train ride. I slept most of the way.

Went to a brew pub after work. Nice little place called Bacca Brewing. Thought I’d do some writing but the staff and locals were friendly and we talked for awhile. Got back to my hotel and got in some writing before midnight. 

Saturday, November 30th

Busy day at work. Did some writing at the end of the day. Worked on the blog first. That took some time. Finally got around to working on my story. Very low word count today. Didn’t hit 10,000 words. Final word count: 8626. Pretty low but it’s more than last year. 

Final Thoughts

I like drawing and I like writing so I attempted both Inktober and NaNoWriMo for the second time this year. Having two monthly art challenges in a row is pretty tough. I really wish Inktober and NaNoWriMo weren’t consecutive!

While I’m disappointed that I didn’t meet most of my NaNoWriMo goals I’m pretty happy with the way my story is turning out. My long term goal now is to break 10,000 words next year. My short term goal is to finish the story that I worked so hard on in November. 

Next: More struggles with creating from my school days.

NaNoWriMo Diary

“Writing a book is like having an empty pool in the yard and every day going out and throwing in a cup of water to fill it.” - Bethany Ball

This is my second year doing NaNoWriMo aka National Novel Writing Month. The goal is to write a 50,000 word novel in one month. I got a late start last year and got nowhere near to completing a full novel. It was still a good experience. I took a story that I had been thinking about for years and started writing it down. By doing that I discovered new things and got much farther into the story than I had by just thinking about it. It’s still not finished but I have a better idea of what I need to do to finish it. 

I have new goals for this year. A higher word count than last year. Break last year’s streak of writing seven days in a row. Finish a collection of four short stories.

I've been keeping a journal for the last couple of years. What follows are the notes I took regarding NaNoWriMo this year.

Friday, November 1st

Starbucks before work. Got started on NaNoWriMo. Wrote some more after work. Not as much as I had hoped for. Oh well. Something is better than nothing.

Saturday, November 2nd

Starbucks before work again. Got some more writing done. Drank my first gingerbread latte of the year. My favorite seasonal coffee at Starbucks. It's so good but made me sleepy. I usually just drink plain coffee. Damn you seasonal sugary drinks with milk.

Wanted to meet up with a good friend for beers after work. Still recovering from a cold. Bowed out and stopped in at Starbucks on the way home. Got more writing one.

The new NaNoWriMo website is pretty buggy. Didn't have this much trouble last year. Pretty disappointing.

Sunday, November 3rd

Off today. Slept in. Didn't get any writing done until the evening. Headed to Baird Beer's Takadanobaba Taproom. My favorite brewery in Japan. Got some writing done. Would have written more but I wound up spending a lot of time talking to a new staff member. Good beer, good conversation, got some writing done. Was a pretty good evening.

Monday, November 4th

Day off. Got up early. Well, early for me. Set alarm for 6:30 a.m. Finally got up at 7:00 a.m. Got breakfast at McDonalds. Coffee at Starbucks. Read some Ge Ge Ge no Kitaro manga. Started reading Neil Gaiman's The Ocean at the End of the Lane. Finally got some writing one.

Stopped by my favorite craft beer bar later in the day. Watering Hole in Shinjuku. Got more writing done. Moving forward.

Tuesday, November 5th

Back to work today. Didn't get any writing done before going in. Dinner at Saizeriya after work. Cheap (but delicious) Italian food, cheap red wine, and brilliant writing. Well okay, two out of three. The wine had an effect, I think. It may have loosened me up but...

Wednesday, November 6th

Early shift at work. Tried to get some writing done before work. Didn't really have much time but decided to give it a try. Just jotted some ideas down. Up to this point I had an idea of where I wanted the story to go. Not sure what's going to happen next. Kind of scary.

Did some more writing after work. Was nervous about writing. Heading into new territory. Going beyond what I had thought about so far. Took a while for me to get started. Finally jumped in. After a couple of false starts the words came. The words came and the story moved forward. It felt so damn good. Still have a lot more to do but I feel more confident about it now. 

Thursday, November 7th

Coffee at Starbucks before work.  Got some writing done. Didn’t get up early enough to get a lot done. Not a lot of time but I felt like I had to do something before I headed to work. No dialogue or anything. Just started typing ideas of what’s going to happen next. Or what may happen next. Not exactly sure. It was like sketching. Moving the pencil across the page to see what shapes will show up. Instead of sketching lines on paper trying to find shapes, I was typing words trying to find the direction of the story. It felt good.

Did some more writing after work. Lost all the confidence from last night and this morning. Nervous about where to take the story next. 

Friday, November 8th

Got some writing done before work. Not sure what scenes to write next, how to move the story forward. Started brainstorming and writing down possibilities. That led me to remembering a scene I had thought about last night on my walk home from my station. 

Sat down to do some writing after work. Doubts again about where to take the story. Not sure where I’m going. Focused on brainstorming. Just writing stuff down. Watched Kurt Vonnegut’s The Shape of Stories on YouTube for inspiration. 

Saturday, November 9th

Got a late start on writing. Saw an early show of Joker. Wasn’t expecting to like it but I thought it was brilliant. Started writing in the evening at my favorite craft beer bar. Not a high word count again but got some plotting done which helped move the story forward. Now I have a better idea of what dialogue to write. Finally named two characters. Coming up with the right names was a breakthrough.  

Sunday, November 10th

Worked overtime today. Early start and busy for the entire day. Couldn’t get any writing done until the evening. Was pretty beat and was tough to get started. Once I got going it wasn’t too bad. Was happy that I got something done.

Monday, November 11th

Didn’t get up early enough to get any writing done today. Yesterday was a long day. Went to Saizeriya for dinner and writing. Was stressed at first but was able to overcome it and get started. Once again, I was wondering about how to move the story forward. Once I actually started writing some ideas came to me. Finished up and headed home. Thought of some new ideas on the walk home from my station. Ideas came to me on that walk the last few nights. I just need to figure out how to get to those points into the story from where I am right now.

I realize now that I come up with a lot of ideas on my walk home from my station. Always on the walk home, not in the morning on the way to the station. The walk home in the evening, after work, seems to be the best time for ideas to flow. 

Tuesday, November 12th

Got a good night’s sleep. Got a little writing done before heading to work. I didn’t have much time though, so I almost didn’t write. Then I thought even just a few lines will do. I’m thinking I need to do more of these micro writing sessions if I’m going to increase my word count. That and getting up earlier. Busy day at work. I didn’t have much time during lunch, but I managed to get some writing done. I prefer writing on my laptop but when I don't have much time or I'm on the go, writing on my phone works. Saizeriya for dinner. Got a little more writing done. The micro sessions worked well. It adds up.

Wednesday. November 13th

Micro session at Starbucks before work. Working out of the office today so ate out for lunch. Another micro session. Dinner at Saizeriya. More writing.

Recently it’s been hard to get started. Work has been busy, and I had two one day weekends. Will have a long weekend later this month and will be taking a trip. I’m at a point in my story where I’ve written down most of what I had planned out in my head. At this point what I come up with is all new. Writing every day and trying to increase the word count is a little stressful. One thing that really helped is telling myself, “Just write one sentence. That’s all you have to do. One sentence.” It’s helped. I started telling myself this when I’ve been too tired to write. It’s motivated me to get started. Getting started has often been the hard part. There were a couple of times where I just wrote a couple of lines but in most cases, I’ve written a more. I have a low word count, but I’ve increased it every day and the first story is moving forward. Plus: I broke last year’s word count. Woo hoo! 

Thursday, November 14th

Was planning on writing in Starbucks before heading into work. The building Starbucks is in is closed today. No writing before work today. Too busy at work so no writing at lunch. Good session after work.

Friday, November 15th

Got in a little writing before work. Nothing during lunch. Dinner and writing at Saizeriya. Not as much as I would have liked but I got into a groove. As usual I was hesitant to get started. Tired after work, not quite sure what’s going to happen next, etc. Reminded myself of my new mantra, just write one sentence. It got me to start, and I wrote 302 words. Not a lot but more than none. I hit 5000 words in total. Woo hoo! My next goal is writing for 21 days in a row. Next after that is to hit 10,000 words. I can do this! Next: NaNoWriMo Diary Part 2