Choices

“Something that you feel will find its own form.” - Jack Kerouac 

It’s funny how some memories can be really fuzzy, but others are as sharp as the day they happened. They stay sharp no matter how much time has passed. 

When I was in seventh grade, the other students in my class and I were handed some documents to take home to our parents. The documents explained what classes we would be taking the next year when we entered high school. English, science, history, math, etc. It also explained that we had to choose the final course, an elective. I wanted to take German but that wasn't offered until ninth grade. I scanned the list of classes and my eyes only saw one choice. I picked up my pencil and checked off art.

It was an easy choice. I was drawing all the time. I couldn’t remember a time that I hadn't been drawing. I had drawn my favorite toys, the starship Enterprise, the submarine Seaview, Christmas decorations, a bird skull, tigers, and the adventures of an alien with cheese in his name. Picking art as an elective in high school seemed like a natural progression.

When I got home I excitedly showed the papers to my parents. My father scanned the documents. He saw that I had checked art. He calmly erased it and changed it to shop class aka industrial arts. Working with wood and metal. I told him I’d rather take art. He told me that he had taken shop in high school and that’s what I would be taking. End of discussion. 

Except it really wasn’t a discussion. No one asked me what I wanted to take. No one asked me if it was okay to change my choice. It was just changed. To this day I still wonder why I didn’t speak up more or throw a tantrum or something.

So I wound up taking shop. I worked with metal but don’t remember finishing anything. I made a pretty nice spice rack out of wood. It was on the kitchen wall for a lot of years until my parents moved into a new house. Not sure what happened to it after that. 

During high school I lost interest in drawing. Instead of creating I started consuming. My interests turned to reading science fiction and fantasy, watching TV, and reading comic books. I devoured every issue of Starlog magazine. I flirted with writing a couple of times but I kept getting distracted. 

Fast forward to one day in twelfth grade, my senior year. Last class of the day. We were goofing around before the bell rang. One of my friends was drawing on the chalkboard. His drawing covered most of the board. Dragons, castles, and warriors. Suddenly I was thrown back to the day that my father changed my elective from art to shop. 

I hadn’t thought of that day in five years. I felt an overwhelming sense of regret wash over me. Regret for not speaking up. Regret for not taking art classes all through high school. But I also felt something else. I didn’t realize it at the time, but there was a tiny spark. Something that I hadn’t felt in awhile. It was back. The urge to create.

Next: A New Year

NaNoWriMo Diary Part Two

“As slowly as I write, the story seems to unfold itself, in spite of me.” - Isabel Allende

Saturday, November 16th

Decided to reevaluate my goals. The original plan was to write a collection of short stories with a prologue and epilogue. I figured that I’d work on one story a week. I finished the prologue quickly and wrote notes for the epilogue. The first story is taking much longer than planned. My new goal is to finish the first story.

I usually work Saturdays and it’s an early start. Working out of the office today so need to travel as well. No writing before work. Busy day so no writing during lunch either. Takadanobaba Taproom after work. Finished and posted a new blog post. Took up most of my time so didn’t get as much NaNoWriMo writing done as I had planned.

Sunday, November 17th

Set the alarm for 9:00 AM. Got up and headed to Starbucks. Got some writing done. Went to Watering Hole afterwards. Got more writing done.

Monday, November 18th

Slept in today. Didn’t get any writing done in the morning or afternoon. Didn’t do any writing until after work.  Dinner and writing in Saizeriya.

Tuesday, November 19th

Did some writing in the morning but not on my story. Worked on a NaNoWriMo blog post. Nothing during lunch. Saizeriya for dinner. Got some writing done but also had to do some preparation for work tomorrow. Busy week. Too much to do! Tried to flesh out some scenes. Feels like the story is getting convoluted and that I should do some editing. Told myself to keep writing and edit later. 

Wednesday, November 20th

Busy day at work so went in early. Ate lunch quickly and did some editing. Cleaned up the part that I felt was getting wordy and out of control.  Wasn’t sure how to handle it last night. Came up with some ideas today. Fixed it and moved on. More writing after work. Tired. Recently it seems like I’m thinking more about my daily word count than telling the story, 

Thursday, November 21st

Got up early. Did some writing but not much. Spent too much time goofing around online. Finally stopped myself and wrote something. No writing at lunch. Wrote after work. Was hesitant and nervous to get started again. Doubts. Tired. Jumped in and just started. The words started flowing. Part of the problem was moving on from the part I had been struggling with. Sometimes I overthink think things. I just need to start getting the words down.

Friday, November 22nd

I’m off for the next four days. Taking a trip to Kumamoto, Kushu to visit my good friend Patrick and his family. My plan was to do some writing on the plane. Didn’t happen.  Got up early to catch the flight and wound up sleeping on the plane. We took a drive to the next town for lunch, watched Seijun Suzuki movies, and went into the city for craft beer. Was beat at the end of the day so no writing. Actually felt good to take a break.

Saturday, November 23rd

Day of sightseeing. Road trip to visit a temple near Mt. Aso. Burgers for lunch at a place called Strong Boss Saloon. Stopped by a park with a gorgeous view of the mountains. Dinner at the local Chinese restaurant when we got back. More movies. You can see where this is going, right? Another day of no writing. 

Sunday, November 24th

Road trip to the town of Omuta for a lecture on Manga Karuta. Was great. Lots of old manga and karuta cards on display. Local style okonomiyaki for lunch. It’s made with a spicy sauce. Delicious. More movies when we got back. Love Seijun Suzuki movies. Started writing again in the evening. Was good to write again after a two day break.

Monday, November 25th

Flew back to Tokyo. Slept on the plane again. Started writing in the afternoon. Was tired but pushed myself to write something, even just a little. Need to keep going. Once I got started, I forgot that I was tired and the words started flowing. Back to work tomorrow.

Tuesday, November 26th

I’m at a point where I’ve  figured out a lot of the upcoming scenes and I know how they’re going to flow from one scene to the next. After that I have story beats that I want to hit and an ending. Still need to figure out how to get from story beat to story beat.

I usually discover new things as I’m writing scenes. I’m fascinated by this process. Things I didn’t think of before hand, character dialogue that I wasn’t expecting, suddenly pop into my head as I write. Between thinking out ideas during my walk home in the evenings and sitting down and writing, I’ve been able to move forward with the story. 

Wednesday, November 27th

Wrote a little during lunch. Just a few lines but it all adds up. Wrote more after work. Word count not as high as the last few days. Will be on a business trip on Friday and Saturday. Not sure If I’ll be able to hit 10,000 words. 

Thursday, November 28th

Dinner at Saizeriya. Crazy day at work. Didn’t get as much writing done yesterday as I’d hoped. Have to get up really early for a business trip tomorrow. Thought about stopping here and just not worrying about it. In the end I decided not to give up just yet. 

Friday, November 29th

Business trip to Matsumoto in Nagano. Had to get up pretty early to catch the train. It’s been awhile since I’ve been on a rush hour train. It was crazy how packed it was. At one point I thought I was going to have one of my ribs cracked. By the time I got on the express train in Shinjuku I was exhausted. Two and a half hour train ride. I slept most of the way.

Went to a brew pub after work. Nice little place called Bacca Brewing. Thought I’d do some writing but the staff and locals were friendly and we talked for awhile. Got back to my hotel and got in some writing before midnight. 

Saturday, November 30th

Busy day at work. Did some writing at the end of the day. Worked on the blog first. That took some time. Finally got around to working on my story. Very low word count today. Didn’t hit 10,000 words. Final word count: 8626. Pretty low but it’s more than last year. 

Final Thoughts

I like drawing and I like writing so I attempted both Inktober and NaNoWriMo for the second time this year. Having two monthly art challenges in a row is pretty tough. I really wish Inktober and NaNoWriMo weren’t consecutive!

While I’m disappointed that I didn’t meet most of my NaNoWriMo goals I’m pretty happy with the way my story is turning out. My long term goal now is to break 10,000 words next year. My short term goal is to finish the story that I worked so hard on in November. 

Next: More struggles with creating from my school days.